I was told on more than one occasion that I looked like a drug addict, because of the way I dressed and acted. Other than biting a brownie in Amsterdam once ( that I think had nothing on it as there were no effects), I've never been anywhere near drugs. I'm not here to discuss whether drugs are good or bad, but I think we can agree on the fact that being called a "drug addict" is not exactly a compliment.
I have never taken care of the way I dressed. I used to go in pajamas to college, never shave, and used clothing from my dad. I wear chains and have bracelets, and I have been know to be the nof*cksgiven kind of guy. I have been called "unembarassable" on more than one occasion.
But to be called a drug addict? Damn. How many friends I did not make because of this misconception? How many people turned away and chose not to try me? I will never know. But this went on for years and years, and I was totally unaware.
Then I started looking around. I have friends who smell (being in France, not that uncommon). If they knew they smelled, would they do something about it? I tried telling them, and most of them changed ways. How many people were turned away by their BO? They will never know.
We all have a friend we make fun of secretly about a quirk, a feature or a trait. It turns out, everyone has one of those, and they have a name: personality blind spots.
It all comes from the Johari window, a psychological theory that divides the personality in 4 spaces:
- Bright spots are the things about you that you know, and everyone knows: You think you're funny, everyone else agree, that's a bright spot.
- Dark spots are the things about you that nobody else knows: your porn watching habits likely are not of general knowledge, that's a dark spot.
- And the blind spots are the ones everybody knows about you, but yourself.
- The other ones I don't remember.
How is it possible that there are things about you that everybody sees, but yourself? It made no sense to me. It shouldn't make any sense to you.
I now value immensely personal feedback. I tell people what I think, in a constructive manner. I think everybody should do that as well. Imagine how great our lives would be if we knew these traits that everyone sees in us, but ourselves. We could be so much better people.
The thing is, it's not easy to share this things. Hence Boomeranked.
Boomeranked is a social feedback website. I agree, a website is not the best way to deliver feedback. But we're not doing it enough today. So I set up a platform that makes it easy and simple, anonymous and private, constructive and spontaneous.
If this was an ideal world, we wouldn't need Boomeranked, we would share this. But it's far from perfect, and many society rules prevent us from sharing. I dream of the day Boomeranked won't be needed anymore. Until then, use it. It's there to help you better understand how you are seen, how important personal feedback is, and why you should just share these things and not keep them to yourself.
Personal feedback: Spontaneous, Anonymous, Constructive, Contextual.